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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Portal 2 Releases With Even More GLaDOS Abuses

Though I've not yet played Portal 2, the much awaited and cleverly promoted sequel, I did run across a list of the top 5 GLaDOS insults courtesy of The Globe and Mail's Controller Freak (Chad Sapieha). As I understand it these are merely from the first six chapters, and so there are likely to be more AI generated abuses slung at you as you progress further into the games torturous mazes. Here they are as reported by Chad:


1. Science has now validated your birth mother’s decision to abandon you on a doorstep.
2. Well done. Here come the test results: “You are a horrible person.” That’s what it says. We weren’t even testing for that.
3. Remember before when I was talking about smelly garbage standing around being useless? That was a metaphor. I was actually talking about you. And I’m sorry. You didn’t react at the time so I was worried it sailed right over your head. That’s why I had to call you garbage a second time just now.
4. I honestly, truly didn’t think you’d fall for that trap. In fact, I designed a much more elaborate trap further ahead for when you got through with this easy one. If I’d known you’d let yourself get captured this easily, I’d have dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling.
5. He’s not just a regular moron. He’s the product of the greatest minds of a generation working together with the express purpose of building the dumbest moron who ever lived.
GLaDOS you are a riot! You've inspired me to resurrect an old AI project of mine... 

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